Friday, July 18, 2008

I'm Having One of Those Days...

Where I'm having trouble thinking rationally about my family. It's mostly a lack of sleep on my part (and the kids) combined with a really frustrating last 2 weeks.

Lily has been extremely stubborn lately. She wants to do everything herself and more importantly she is bound and determined to be a "big girl." This means she wants to buckle herself into her carseat (even though it takes forever and a day), she wants to get herself dressed (and have executive decisions over what matches and what does not), she wants to wear big girl underwear at all times (even though she doesn't stay dry at naps or overnight), and she wants to eat candy at all hours of the day and night. When something doesn't happen as she wants, she screams, hits and throws a holy fit. On the upside, Lily is almost completely potty trained during the day!!! This just makes her more stubborn about wearing underwear to bed though. There have been several nights in the last couple of weeks that Adam and I have just put her to bed and let her cry it out instead of doing our normal routine. Every time we do this I check on her before going to be myself. Every time she has been buck necked in her crib with all the blankets (and jammies) thrown out onto the floor. We get her dressed and put her back in bed and she sleeps through the night.

While Lily has worn me down, Addie has put what could be the final nail in the coffin for me. She has been throwing outrageous fits about getting her hair brushed. I finally lost it this week when Addie spit on me during one of her temper tantrums. After swim lessons on Tuesday I took her to a salon and had her hair cut. They took off somewhere around 10 inches - enough to donate to Locks of Love. Addie feels very good that she gave her hair to a sick little girl that needed it. We've been making a big deal out of how cute her hair looks and how now it doesn't hurt to have it brushed.

Well, this morning it started all over again. Addie (after having gone to bed late, woken up once in the night and being up early) had her emotions very close to the surface today. Everything that could be wrong was. I didn't put her Barbie movie in fast enough. I didn't get her after breakfast snack fast enough. I bought Lily new princess underwear and not Addie. I wanted to wash her hair when she got into the shower. I wanted to brush her hair. Daddy wasn't there to brush her hair. I even tried to get her to brush her own hair, nothing worked. I finally had to hold her down and run the brush through her hair. I feel like a horrible Momma. I know I'm doing the right things and holding firm on what needs to be done, but I feel horrible that I am loosing my temper.

I need a Momma Vacation. A nice little flight to Los Cabos (video link). Lots of sun, surf, quiet and some yummy margaritas. Make that a lot of margaritas. Anyone with me? Or maybe a trip to the Blue Lagoon in Iceland.

**Edited to add: I went for a brisk walk to the Y after dinner tonight, biked for 20 minutes then joined the family in the swimming pool. I am feeling much better, but my idea of a Momma Vacation still stands. Especially if there is a Sugar Daddy out there willing to finance the trip.


Charles said...

hot dogs!!!Lets go to Souix Falls SD. We can have a great time, driving through the corn fields, sitting in the meetings, ripping up the town, it will be great!!
wait, maybe im just being Optimistic.....

tma said...

I cna empathize with your frustration...I have been hearing that since I work in a/c my job isn't a "real hard job" despite the fact that the a/c employee is the one carrying all the insurance and benefits for the family. That can really, for lack of a better term, chap ones arse.

When I am thisclose to losing it or getting crabby..."Hello? Am I the only one with arms capable of washing dishes or clothes?" or now that T has discovered that it is really fun to smack mama's face with the rattle, I take a deep breath, and remember that for me, carrying to term was not a given.

For whatever reason, no matter what kind of day I'm having thinking about not having T at all really resets the brain into mama mode. What is he were killed tomorrow?

I'm not trying to be preachy, because I only have one to deal with. And there are times I would give almost anything for 10 minutes to myself. So I try to reframe: what if I had all of my time to myself. What if I didn't have a baby? And that trips something for me.

That being said, E has been good and let me go off for a day (9am- 6pm) 2x since T was born. Maybe you just need a day...

Anonymous said...

Tell your hubby to take care of the kids and head out for a day or two. You deserve it and need it to stay sane.

Syren said...

I love the new haircut Addie! I'm sure you made a sick little girl feel a lot better!
Love you lots
Auntie Syren

ChupieandJ'smama said...

The hair cut is adorable!!
But I totally feel your frustration. We are in a constant state of battle over here. The boys are driving me crazy. Right now one is time out and one is close to being in time out. HUGS to you!